ALRIGHTY THEN

So what do I mean by ALRIGHTY THEN?

To me if means, okay, alright, I have a diagnosis and the doctor said cancer. I can deal with that so let's get moving. No more wondering why I have felt so tired and fatigued for several months. Now I have a reason for the feelings going on in my body. For awhile I thought I might be going crazy because I just couldn't pin point what was wrong.

I have been doing some serious thinking and who doesn't when given something to deal with like this. I am no longer sad after the first day of crying until I had no more tears. I didn't think that was ever possible to have no more tears but honestly, once I shed that last tear day before I haven't (for now).

Yesterday I woke up feeling a lightness on my chest. As I was driving to work I was saying my prayers, that is my favorite time. Something hit me smack in the face and now I finally get it.

You see I tend to be a person who really wants to help others more than think about myself and I have been doing this for so long. I never felt like I was worthy of someone doing something for me because I am here to help them and to make their life better if I can. I really never take the time to LOVE myself like I do others. Therefore I could not see how others really do love me, until this all happened. I never put myself first, always the other person and I have neglected me. I never felt I could let my guard down, I don't like being hurt so it is better to put others first and not pay attention to Denise.

Well the words just flew at me while I was saying my prayers in the car, YOU ARE LOVED. NOW IT IS TIME TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, LET OTHERS HELP YOU! It hit me square dab in the middle of my prayers. I stopped and said "ALRIGHTY THEN" I get it. You don't have to tell me again. I will accept this love and help. I will lean on others when I need support and I will be grateful. What a relief to know I have so many in my life that really care about ME! It is exciting. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders because now I don't have to do this alone, which is what I tend to do so I won't bother anybody with my problems.

So be prepared to hear from me when I need to talk, need a hug, need support, need a ride or whatever it might take to make things easier that day. "ALRIGHTY THEN" I get it now!